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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456529">take me to the stars, just say "oh"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coeurire/pseuds/CoeurireDeux'>CoeurireDeux (Coeurire)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, First gay experience, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Oral Sex, Top patrick brewer, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Top, Trans Patrick Brewer, bottom David Rose, if i turn this into a series like i want more characters probably, trans porn by trans author</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:33:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,407</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456529</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coeurire/pseuds/CoeurireDeux</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick Brewer is a stealth transgender man, and he plans to stay that way. David Rose has proven...inconvenient. </p><p>But Patrick's made up his mind to tell him, because every time he looks at David, he wants to pull him into the back room. </p><p>(See notes for language/dysphoria triggers)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>231</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks so much to TheMelancholyVegetable for the beta!!!</p><p>Dysphoria trigger notes: Patrick is post-op for both top surgery (peri) and metoidoplasty with vaginectomy, which is one kind of bottom surgery. Masc language used for his body.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They stumbled over each other as they closed the door to the back room. David’s hands were everywhere on Patrick, and he was all nervousness and excitement and. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And, a slowly growing tightness in his gut, one that sharpened when David’s fingers went to his zip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick’s hands pressed back against David’s arms, and David pulled back, taking a step away. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t mean to rush you--” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s not that,” Patrick said. “I...” He exhaled deeply. “I really want to do this, David. But, uh.” He ran a hand through the hair on the back of his head, trying to muster up the courage to say it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that tight feeling in his stomach sunk, becoming a harsh knot of dread. Moving to Schitt’s Creek was a fresh start he had desperately needed. Nobody calling him by the wrong name, no “miss” or “ma’am,” no oddly sympathetic looks when he was out and about with his parents. Keeping a secret wasn’t exactly hard, because it wasn’t like anyone was going to see him naked. And he didn’t want to do anything to disturb that secret.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked David up and down briefly--the skirt that went past his knees, still swinging back and forth gently with leftover energy from the movements of their bodies a few seconds before. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Parisien</span>
  </em>
  <span> sweatshirt. The look on his face, eyes soft, mouth slightly downturned in an expression of concern and care. And there were probably tons of trans people in New York City. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick had thought this through. He knew David, he trusted David. He wouldn’t have let things get this far if that wasn’t the case. And he couldn’t think of anyone in Schitt’s Creek who was more likely to understand and accept him. But the logical understanding that things would probably be fine still didn’t shake the terror from his gut. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” David said, and took Patrick’s hand in both of his. “It’s okay. I get it.” He sighed. “Look, I remember my first time with a guy. I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>ter-</span>
  </em>
  <span>rified, and not just because I was worried--correctly, I might add--that the song he’d inevitably write about me would end up on the Billboard Top 200.” He stared past Patrick’s shoulder for a moment, then brought himself back to the present.  “We can go at whatever pace you want, it’s no big deal.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick smiled despite himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>was a big deal to David, so that sentiment meant a lot. But it wasn’t rushing he was worried about. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wished </span>
  </em>
  <span>he could go faster. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew he’d never get the words out if he kept looking into those worried oaken eyes, so he employed the same tactic he’d used with Rachel: stared at the floor and said it flatly. “David, I’m trans.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” David’s voice betrayed no emotion. Then he placed his other hand on top of Patrick’s and squeezed gently. When he spoke again, his tone was so tender that Patrick felt a stinging at the corners of his eyes. “Thanks for telling me.” He placed a kiss on Patrick’s cheek. “Just so you know, this changes nothing. Just tell me if I fuck anything up, okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was one of the best responses David could have given, in Patrick’s view. He inhaled sharply. “Okay, so the first thing I need you to know is that nobody else in town knows. I’d like to keep it that way.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David nodded solemnly. “Got it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean it, David.” Patrick pulled his hand away and leaned back against a pile of boxes, looking David dead in the eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Nobody </span>
  </em>
  <span>else in town. Not Stevie, not Alexis, not anyone. I’m only telling you because--” He looked down at himself. “I feel like you’d find out sooner or later.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Preferably sooner,” David said with a grin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“David, this is serious.” A wave of panic ripped through Patrick. Had he been wrong about David? Could he not be trusted to be private? Were all his late-night run-throughs of all the ways this could go just...wrong? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course not, he reassured himself. He didn’t take risks like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And sure enough, when he looked at David again, the grin had been wiped away. “I totally understand,” David was saying. “Listen, I know I don’t exactly have a reputation for...keeping things private. But I can do it with stuff that’s actually a big deal.” His eyes pierced Patrick so thoroughly that he had to look away. “I’m not going to tell anyone, and if I do, you have full permission to murder me. Although I do ask that it at least be in a dramatic fashion.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick felt better. “Okay,” he said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both stood in silence for a moment. Patrick broke it. “So,” he said awkwardly, “now that we’ve gotten that out of the way--you said it didn’t change </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David nodded. “Nothing. I still feel the same way about you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In that case,” Patrick asked, keeping his tone even despite the rate at which his face was reddening, “can we get back to what we were doing before?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>David pretended to consider, then nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah,” he said, “yeah, I think we can.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick grinned. David was so ridiculous. He leaned in, and David met him halfway. His lips were forceful, and his hands grabbed fistfuls of Patrick’s hair, but Patrick wanted more. Now that his fear had gone, all that was left was desire.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabbed David’s waist and pressed him back against the stacked boxes, rolling his hips forward. Although he couldn’t feel much through the tightness of his jeans, he got a different kind of reward: David moaning into the kiss and rocking his own hips into Patrick’s. They got in a rhythm, Patrick feeling David’s hardness against his own even through all of their clothes, David gasping and whimpering and sucking hard on Patrick’s neck. Patrick grabbed at whatever pieces of David he could get. He wanted more, but he didn’t want to stop because oh, God, it felt good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He briefly wondered what his old self living in Barndale would have thought of this scene: him shamelessly dry-humping his male business partner in a back room in the middle of the day. He grinned, and kissed David harder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After what might have been minutes or hours, David pulled away. His hands moved back down, this time to Patrick’s belt, rather than his zip. He paused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so, full disclosure, you’re not the first trans guy I’ve been with,” he said, “so I do have </span>
  <em>
    <span>some</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea what I’m doing here. But I also know everyone’s different. So…” He took his hands away to gesticulate. “Likes? Dislikes? Language? No-nos?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>For a moment, Patrick didn’t care; it could be seconds before a customer walked through the door, and the way David said </span>
  <em>
    <span>no-nos </span>
  </em>
  <span>was just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>David</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he wanted the other man’s hands on him as immediately as possible. Then the moment faded, and his complicated feelings about his body came rushing back. And as it turned out, one of those complicated feelings was...confusion?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d never been with a guy before. Rachel usually just had him use any of the dicks he kept in his bedside table on her and then took care of his needs when she was done. But David was a man. With expectations, probably, about how he’d get to use his own dick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, let’s start with the fact that I’ve had metoidioplasty with a vaginectomy,” he said. Inwardly: </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope that’s not a disappointment. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But if David really was disappointed, he didn’t show it. Instead he just looked as confused as Patrick had felt a few seconds prior. “Cool…” He paused. “I don’t know what that means.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Having to walk David through a complicated medical procedure would probably kill the mood, Patrick decided. “Why don’t I just show you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David clapped his hands together in excitement. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Please</span>
  </em>
  <span> do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Patrick was unbuckling his belt, Stevie’s voice rang out through the store: “Ding ding ding.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick and David looked at each other. David sighed. “I’ll go out first,” he said, smoothing his clothes as best he could.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>For the rest of the day Patrick watched David warily for signs that anything was different. But there wasn’t. Not a single pronoun slip-up, no newfound awkwardness when their skin touched, no strange looks. David really was treating him the same way he had before. A swelling fear gathered in Patrick’s chest, then released; gathered and released all afternoon. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe things were going to be okay with them. Maybe they weren’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d find out tonight, he decided, just to quell his own anxiety, and didn’t let his thoughts go any further than that.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>He hadn’t expected his transness to be the last thing on his mind that night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I’ve just gotta go through that one more time,” he said, moving away from David’s (admittedly appealing, sweet-smelling) lips. “So, you dated Jake and then Stevie dated Jake.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hmm.” David looked like he was considering lighting his sweater on fire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And then at one point, you all--” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, see, that’s where you’re wrong,” David corrected him. “We almost all, but I said </span>
  <em>
    <span>no.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>The way he accentuated the </span>
  <em>
    <span>no </span>
  </em>
  <span>made Patrick’s heart do a little flutter. It was just so...</span>
  <em>
    <span>David. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ah,” said Patrick, taking a healthy sip of whiskey as David attempted to further explain himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They went back and forth for awhile. There were a million more questions Patrick wanted to ask, but he also didn’t want to waste their one night alone together. “I suggest we lock that box back up for now,” he said finally, fully intending to reopen it once they were done. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm,” David said enthusiastically, closing the space between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His lips were whiskey and chapstick sweet, the scent of his cologne strong, the hint of his stubble sharp against Patrick’s mouth--and then he was pulling away again, the kiss over as quickly as it began. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know,” he began, “we didn’t even get into </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>history--” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A wave of anguish flooded Patrick. His history. His first kiss. Until recently, the only girl he’d kissed. The girl who he’d sworn he’d make his wife.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl who told him he’d shattered her world, and who’d stayed with him anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lock it up, David,” he said quickly, reaching for his business partner. “Lock it up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his credit, David complied easily. “Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he said, eagerness audible, allowing Patrick to grab the back of his neck and press it forward. Their lips met again and this time David’s were as hungry as Patrick’s, exploring, daring, his tongue slipping into Patrick’s mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick’s hands were greedy. He wanted all of David, all at once. He wrapped his arms around the other man and pulled him in closer. In response, David leaned in closer and closer, until he swung one leg over Patrick’s lap and was straddling him. He wrapped his arms around Patrick’s neck and kissed him again with wild abandon, his erection pressing against Patrick’s stomach . Patrick moaned into his mouth. He ran his hands up and down David’s sides. And then David’s hands were cool on his bare back, and his nails were scratching down, and Patrick had to break the kiss to moan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said you had something to show me…” David said, lips at Patrick’s ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A thrill of nervousness and excitement went through Patrick. “I do, but.” He patted David’s back. “You’re going to have to get off me first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>And David did, but instead of moving to sit beside Patrick, as he had expected, he slid backwards. Onto his knees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick chuckled. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” David asked, grinning. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Someone’s eager.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Guilty as charged,” David responded, and the playful way he said it made Patrick pull his face up for another kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick took off his belt and dropped it on the floor beside him, then shimmied out of his pants, then, hesitantly, his underwear. David blinked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” he said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick looked away. “I know it’s not much.” This was a lie. He was proud of his two inches of cock, proud of the way it swelled to its full girth, proud of the way it sat atop the testicular implants.  But he knew by most people’s standards, including probably David’s, he wasn’t much to look at. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” David said quickly, pushing himself up to press a kiss to Patrick’s lips. “You’re gorgeous,” he said when he pulled away, sinking back down. “It’s just that like...can I be honest? I’ve never seen anything quite like it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something about the way David said that, his eyes trained on Patrick’s cock and his lips curled slightly upwards into a smile, awakened a confusing mash of feelings deep in Patrick’s gut. The feeling that prevailed was hunger--need.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, don’t be shy--</span>
  <em>
    <span>oh, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I see you’re not, okay,” he said as David leaned forward and began sucking. He was gentle at first, at least with his mouth; his hands squeezed the insides of Patrick’s thighs, an odd gesture but not unappreciated. When he moved one hand to cup Patrick’s balls Patrick tilted his head back and allowed a sigh to escape his lips. He wasn’t usually vocal, but David was really sucking, really taking his full length into his mouth and </span>
  <em>
    <span>sucking. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He hadn’t been touched like that in a long time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He almost whined when David took his lips away to ask, “That good, huh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s good, it’s good,” Patrick said quickly. “Please don’t stop. Oh my God, David, that’s good.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David licked up the length of Patrick’s cock before returning it to his mouth and Patrick let out a full, long moan. He’d never been this vocal before. No one had ever been this concerned with making him feel so good. He felt his hips rocking back and forth as he thrust himself into David’s mouth, and then David’s hand was on the small of his back, pushing his body forward, helping him go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh my God,” breathed Patrick. “Oh my God, David. David.” The name was delicious in his mouth. It was a name he’d imagined himself moaning so many times before, jerking himself with two fingers late at night, letting a wave of guilt and fear wash over him after he came. But now David was here for real, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sucking his cock for real,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it was all he could say. “David,” he moaned again, both hands on the back of the other man’s head. “Jesus, David, </span>
  <em>
    <span>David--” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then that familiar build of pressure, and he was rocking into David faster now, more eagerly, calling his name again and again, begging him not to stop, the warmth of David’s mouth and the softness of his manicured hand cupping his balls, until finally, finally he came, hard, spreading his legs as he cried out, David still sucking as wave after wave of pleasure rocked through him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David held Patrick’s cock in his mouth until Patrick’s ragged, orgasmic pants grew softer and slower. He gently moved away to sit back on his knees. “How was that?” he asked, and Patrick could detect a hint of anxiety in his voice, which surprised him. Had David been nervous? David </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rose</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the fish out of water, the NYC queer icon, the man who wore skirts to work and dared the world to give him shit for it? Patrick hadn’t worn a skirt since he was four. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was amazing,” he said honestly, reaching down to play with David’s hair. “I’ve wanted that for a really long time, honestly.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David smiled up at him. “Yeah?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well,” said David, “to be honest, I have, too.” He paused. “Also, do you mind if I get up?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick laughed, and patted the bed next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh </span>
  </em>
  <span>thank God.” David quickly stood up and took the spot next to Patrick, clasping his hands together. “I mean, like, don’t get me wrong, I’m up for round two, but I really should have put a pillow down or something.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A grin crossed Patrick’s face. “Round two?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hmm,” said David, leaning forward.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. take me in your arms and make me "oh"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Round two?"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks so much to TheMelancholyVegetable for the beta!!!</p><p>See the last chapter for dysphoria trigger notes. </p><p>Chapter 3 is gonna be the last *chapter* and is probably just gonna be a big ol' classic feelings jam, but I do plan to write more in this *series*. After all, I'm trans and I love my little trans Patrick headcanon. I want to explore how different events in the series would have gone too! Plus, there's a lot of things Patrick still has to try...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Round two?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mm-hmm,” said David, leaning forward.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David’s mouth was a lot more eager than Patrick had anticipated, and he would have fallen backwards on the bed if it weren’t for David’s hands encircling him, grounding him. The hands moved to Patrick’s shirt buttons, then hesitated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, real quick,” said David, pulling back, “we also never finished that conversation. Is there anywhere you don’t want to be touched, or…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick laughed despite himself at David’s over-the-top consideration. “Anywhere is fine,” he said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Anywhere?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>David raised an eyebrow, and Patrick flushed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, almost anywhere,” he corrected quickly. He was actually curious about bottoming, about what it would feel like to </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>be fucked by David, but he had never done anything like that before. The thought made him a little nervous. If he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>going to try it, he didn’t want it to be spontaneously and in David’s ex’s room.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David took his meaning without him having to elaborate. “Gotcha,” he said. “But your chest--?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I spent a lot of money on this chest,” Patrick replied. “Go right ahead.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, okay,” said David. He resumed unbuttoning Patrick’s shirt, kissing him as he did so. Once it was off, he began running his hands up and down Patrick’s torso, occasionally pausing to catch on Patrick’s nipples. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, God,” Patrick moaned. “Oh, God, David. That’s...that’s really nice, keep doing that,” and then he was pulled back into the kiss, and it was electric, and David tasted like </span>
  <em>
    <span>David </span>
  </em>
  <span>and he was touching his body, and Patrick could have stayed there forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When one of David’s hands wandered down to Patrick’s cock and started playing with it, though, Patrick took it and pushed it away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay?” David asked anxiously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” said Patrick, and David visibly relaxed. “It’s just that I’ve already had a turn, and I don’t want to be unchivalrous.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Un</span>
  <em>
    <span>chiv</span>
  </em>
  <span>alrous.” David giggled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, nothing,” said David, but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “You just have a funny way of saying you want to fuck me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick knew when he was being made fun of, but David wasn’t wrong. “Fine, then,” he said. “I want to fuck you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See, was that so hard?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick couldn’t help but laugh at the triumph in David’s voice, and then David was kissing him again and Patrick couldn’t help but reach over, his hand finding the bulge in David’s skirt. He brushed away the anxiety that was quick to pop up in his brain--it hissed </span>
  <em>
    <span>you have no idea what you’re doing</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he shot back </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s not rocket science--</span>
  </em>
  <span>and gave the bulge a squeeze. David moaned </span>
  <em>
    <span>into </span>
  </em>
  <span>his mouth, and Patrick shivered, quietly and inwardly pronouncing this the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. He began moving his hand back and forth and David kissed back harder, more urgently. Patrick could feel him shifting back and forth in the bed, could tell that he was trying to get more and more of his touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fuck,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>David moaned, twisting away from the kiss, “you are such a tease.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And what, was he supposed to answer that by </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>teasing David more? “Oh, am I?” he asked, taking his hand away to trace a long line up David’s cock with one finger, up under the sweater he was still wearing. Up to his waistband. Where he stopped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David groaned aloud and Patrick laughed. “Something wrong?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, Patrick, knock it off and just touch me,” huffed David. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the magic word?” Patrick joked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure what emotion he was trying to summon in David--mild annoyance, maybe? but when the other man turned to him, that wasn’t what he saw. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In David’s eyes was </span>
  <em>
    <span>arousal. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“”Please,” he whispered with a sincerity that should have made Patrick laugh, but instead made his cock stir despite how recently he’d come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>What was happening? </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure, but he heard himself murmur, “See, that’s all you had to say,” as he slid his hand down David’s skirt and found David’s cock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The last few strings of fear that he’d have no idea what he was doing subsided as he wrapped his hand around David. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, as did beginning to stroke him, moving his hand back and forth and feeling David shift against him in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Feeling good?” he asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hmm, mm-hmm,” David responded, nodding his head vigorously, as if afraid Patrick would stop if he wasn’t convincing enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick chuckled. “That’s good,” he said. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David closed his eyes and leaned his head against Patrick’s shoulder, making small whimpering noises as Patrick stroked him. Patrick began to move faster, and David’s whimpers became moans, less coherent, and he clung to Patrick like he was about to fall off him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh,” he breathed, “careful, I don’t want to get cum on my skirt--” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick withdrew his hand immediately. “Take off all your clothes, then,” he said, sounding a lot more confident than he felt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” David seemed to relish the command. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Patrick nodded. “And lay down on the bed.” He paused. “On your stomach. And don’t move, I’ll be right back.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>God,</span>
  </em>
  <span> yes.” David gave Patrick a quick kiss. “I thought you’d never ask.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As David shimmied out of his sweater, Patrick grabbed his bag and went to the bathroom. He ignored the dysphoria that always welled up whenever he had to do this, which was easy enough to do with practice and with the knowledge that once the harness was on it would be replaced with the euphoria of seeing an erect cock between his legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He caught a glimpse of himself in Stevie’s mirror, and wondered what a younger version of himself would think if he could see himself now. He’d known gay men, and he’d known trans men from the support group in the city that he used to drive himself to back home. But he hadn’t known anyone who was both. He hadn’t even known it was possible to be both. His feelings for other men he kept buried deep, wrapped in a blanket of questions that hurt to touch</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
  <span>In some ways this still felt like a dream, like any moment now he’d wake up in Ray’s bed and there would have been no car kiss, no making out in the back room, no David Rose at all. His world would be intact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he smiled at his reflection. He was the one used to destroying other people’s worlds--Rachel, his parents. He deserved to get his own rocked a little bit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And at any rate, he was on his way to rock David’s in a completely different way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath and pushed open the bathroom door, striding confidently down the hallway. He inhaled sharply when he saw what was waiting for him in Stevie’s bed. David Rose, lying face down as he’d been told, a pillow at his waist and his bare ass exposed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Patrick let out a low whistle. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, you know, I do a lot of squats,” said David in that </span>
  <em>
    <span>thanks I know </span>
  </em>
  <span>voice that made Patrick want to laugh at him and kiss him. He did the latter, approaching the side of the bed and sucking on the side of David’s neck until the other man gasped and squirmed beneath him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he pulled away, David’s eyes flicked down Patrick’s body and he gasped. “Are you sure it’s going to fit?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Patrick had had a feeling this might happen. He had chosen his favorite strap-on, realistic and veined and eight inches long, but brought some backups just in case. “Do you want me to get a different--” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No no no no no,” David jumped in before he could finish the sentence, eyes wide and still trained on Patrick’s cock. “I mean--it’s worth a </span>
  <em>
    <span>try,</span>
  </em>
  <span> right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay size queen.” Before David could argue with this judgement, Patrick was climbing into bed, reaching for the bottle of lube he’d snagged from his backpack, and squeezing some out onto his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now he was really doing this. He was going to finger David Rose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slid a single finger in, exploratory. The tightness was strange, but not unwelcome. What </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>wasn’t unwelcome was the way David gasped, then tilted his head backwards. Patrick grabbed David’s hair and pulled as he began to finger him, extracting a delicious moan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” David pleaded, “put it in already.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you can wait,” teased Patrick.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A whine escaped David’s lips in response. Patrick smiled. David was into being teased, huh? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He inserted a second finger, and David gasped again. Emboldened, Patrick curled his fingers upward and began to stroke. David moaned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, where did you learn how to do that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never actually done this before,” admitted Patrick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David laughed. “You are such a little liar.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick was, as always, amused by David. “Why would I lie?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, just--mmnnhhh, that’s really nice,” David said, pushing back onto Patrick’s fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Glad to hear it,” said Patrick nonchalantly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He continued touching David like that, drawing </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>s and </span>
  <em>
    <span>mmm</span>
  </em>
  <span>s and other absolutely delicious noises. But his desire to fuck him, really fuck him, eventually dwarfed his desire to keep teasing him, and he slid his fingers out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ve been ready this entire time,” complained David. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I thought.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick pressed down on the small of David’s back to bring his body down to a more accessible position, and David complied immediately. Patrick coated his cock with more lube, just in case, then aligned it with David’s ass and pressed just the tip inside. David groaned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay?” Patrick asked quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s just--really big,” said David. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I switch?” Patrick was trying to keep his nervousness from bubbling up. He’d never done anal before, on the giving end or the receiving, and he had no idea what David was feeling right now, and whether it was good or bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David snorted. “God, no. I can take it. I really, really, really wanna take it,” he pleaded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, well, just.” Patrick laid a hand on David’s ass. “Let me know.” He had to trust that David was being honest with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>With that he pushed his hips forward, sliding the cock further inside. David let out a high-pitched noise unlike any he had previously made. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>God,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Patrick,” he whined. “Is it all the way in?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Almost. There’s more. Do you want it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” David said with desperation in his voice, “please, puh-leeeeease fuck me deep.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Patrick did, pressing into David, filling him, before slowly beginning to rock his hips back and forth. David gasped and twitched and moaned beneath him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, Patrick,” he said, “you’re so big, I love it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a brief moment Patrick considered imitating what he’d seen in the gay porn he’d been guiltily watching under the covers for years--</span>
  <em>
    <span>oh yeah? you like that, baby? you like this cock?</span>
  </em>
  <span>--but quickly he decided against it. Instead he reached forward to smooth back David’s hair and said, “Good.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>do something he’d seen in porn, which was to move his hand down to David’s face, pressing a finger against David’s mouth. David took it greedily, pulling it into his mouth and sucking hard, his moans muffled by it. David’s tongue on his fingers emboldened Patrick, and he started fucking him in earnest, moving faster, his hips slamming into David’s ass as his cock worked deep inside him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David stopped sucking, and Patrick moved his hand away. “Can I--</span>
  <em>
    <span>oh, fuck, oh god--</span>
  </em>
  <span>can I touch myself?” he stammered out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick chuckled. He was asking for </span>
  <em>
    <span>permission? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Did Patrick really have that kind of power over him? What if he refused to let him, and made David squirm beneath him until he begged? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thought turned him on like crazy, but he didn’t want to be so mean during their first time. “I don’t know,” he said instead, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“can</span>
  </em>
  <span> you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” said David. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick laughed, and leaned down to whisper in David’s ear, not breaking his rhythm. “Actually, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>kind of wanted to touch you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ohmygodplease,” David whimpered. Patrick reached under David’s body and grabbed his cock, which was rock-hard and leaking all over the mattress. They’d wash Stevie’s sheets in the morning, Patrick figured. He pumped it in time with his strokes, allowing each forward thrust to propel his hand forward as well, and David’s noises started approaching indescribability. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve--never--done this before?” he squeaked out. “Really?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Glad I’m a natural,” Patrick joked. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck, Patrick, oh fuck,” said David. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned his face to the side, and Patrick could see his makeup running, the sweat fucking up his hair. He looked more gorgeous than Patrick had ever seen him, and Patrick wanted to tell him as much, but that seemed a little intense and he didn’t want to ruin the moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck,” David was still repeating, and then he stiffened. “Patrick, I’m gonna--I’m gonna--” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do it,” Patrick encouraged. “Come for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David froze for a moment. “Stevie’s sheeeeeeets--” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course </span>
  </em>
  <span>David had considered that too. Patrick suppressed a giggle. “We’ll wash them tomorrow. It’s fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right. Mm-hmm. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>groaned David, and Patrick felt David’s cock pulsing beneath him, felt something hot running down the sides of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m coming,” David added helpfully after a second, as if Patrick couldn’t tell. He didn’t respond, just slowed his rhythm and stroked David’s back with his free hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he could tell David was spent, he asked, “Should I take it out now?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David nodded. “Slowly,” he said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick pulled out slowly, as David had instructed. David rolled over onto his back and made grabby hands in Patrick’s direction. “Come here,” he said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patrick couldn’t decide whether to take the harness off or leave it on, so he left it, and accepted the invitation into David’s arms. He lay with his head on David’s chest, looking down at their bodies, feeling a mix of emotions. Anxiety rose to the top. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was that--” he began. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was--” David began at the exact same time, and they laughed, in unison, breaking the tension. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Amazing,” David continued. “I was going to say ‘amazing.’ Oh, did you need to go again?” he asked, looking down at Patrick as if he could see under the harness down to his swollen dick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But despite his body’s insistence, Patrick shook his head. “That was honestly kind of intense,” he explained. “I think I’m done for now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” said David, and ruffled Patrick’s hair. “So, first time with a guy, huh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was that swirling well of feelings again. “Yeah,” Patrick replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How’d I do?” David asked teasingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I hated it,” Patrick deadpanned. “This is for the ladies only from here on out. No boys allowed.” He squeezed David to him to let him know he was kidding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, was it…” David looked down at him. “Was it any fun for you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The well opened, and retched dysphoria all over Patrick: </span>
  <em>
    <span>he wouldn’t have to ask another guy that question.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Patrick clamped down on it with a gentle smile that David hopefully couldn’t tell was strained. “Of course it was fun for me,” he said. “I mean...I didn’t realize that would...feel so good for you, I guess. I might…” He swallowed. “I might want to try switching places sometime? If you want to,” he added. He knew some guys were bottoms, and some were tops, right? So David might never be interested in that.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” David smiled. “That sounds fun.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” said Patrick. “Yeah.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His head started spinning as he replayed what had just happened. How </span>
  <em>
    <span>right </span>
  </em>
  <span>David had felt beneath him. The sensations that filled his whole body when he fucked David, when he had his hand on David’s cock. And David’s stubble against the inside of his legs...David’s hand, now, in his hair. It was like nothing Patrick had ever felt before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, are you okay? You’re like, really quiet.” David thought for a moment. “Like, quieter than usual,” he clarified. </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>And the words were coming out before Patrick could stop them. “David,” Patrick blurted, “I think I’m gay.” </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! I hope to make this into a series so let me know if you'd like to see sequels/prequels or just more fluff&amp;smut pieces like these :) </p><p>I'm pre-op, so if you're post and I got something wrong, let me know! I'm not afraid to make edits on published work if it's important to.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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